Salut! Janvier 2014 – Becoming a “Better” Person

Happy New Year, everyone!

My entry is kind of late but, as what they always say, “better late than never”. haha!
Well, a lot of people are, again, very busy making their new years resolutions and the likes, but me, well I don’t know, I just want to be a better person. Sounds lame right?, however, no matter how lame my statement is, I believe it will never be out of tune.

..Better person?…huh?!?
First and foremost, how shall I define “better” in my own context.. well, better means:

1. Spiritual – yes, spiritual in a sense of making myself closer to God. The past years, after I graduated from college I had no enough time to worship Him. I took advantage of what I have that I forget what and for who the Sunday really is. I felt empty, I felt lost for so many times, I didn’t even know how to get back to the old me. When I realized what was missing, He led me back to Him. I realized that no matter how long my absence was, He still welcomed me to His church and reminded me how blessed I am and that I am not alone cause He was there when I thought there was no one for me.

2. Selfless – I’ve been so selfish. I only think of what’s good for ME, what’s in it for ME?, How about ME?, ME, ME, ME so many ME’s! That I took for granted the word OURs.. I am a family person, however, when things get tough, I always get back to “me” which I find to a cowardly thing to do. Now, I now where I stand, I know that life isn’t just about me, it’s about them, my family, my loved ones… Time is of essence, and I cannot take that for granted just like what I did the past years.

3. more LOVING – Up, down, up, down,.. that was the pattern of our relationship the past year. Francis and I had so many fights that almost broke us apart. I cannot blame him, nor blame my self but I know somewhere along the way, I have faults and there were so many disappointments and frustrations on my part that caused the misunderstandings. I want us to be better, I want us to stick together no matter what. I love him dearly, God knows how much I love him, I’ll do everything and anything to strengthen our foundations even more.

BIG Words, Big responsibilities, but I know that no matter how BIG those words are, I know I can do it.. Through HIs guidance, I know that I, WE, all of us can survive this year. Full of enthusiasm and love in my heart, let us all welcome the year 2014 with a big big smile and faith with God! God bless everyone! Once again, happy NEw YEar!

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“Sincerity and Simplicity always go hand in hand with each other”

Sincerity is one of the most important virtues one could ever have.

In most times, it manifests when something wrong happened and the person needs to apologize for some reason.

In love, conflicts always happen but the sincerity to ask for forgiveness and express regret is not genuine enough  to 100% (percently) prove that your “sorry” is sincere and  truthful.

Francis and I recently had been to minor clash, however, nobody wants to surrender, and he had uttered words not pleasing to my ears. I wanted to get angry and I really wanted to cry it out so I could say we’re quits but then I realized that my action won’t justify whatever the result of that fight would be.

He texted me he’s sorry. The message seems to be simple, not that it is not sincere however its simplicity makes me doubt if its genuine or not. So I relied, “harsh words are only forgiven but not forgotten” just to at least catch his interest and gain more attention from him, we had series of conversation that also almost led to another quarrel, but then after a 15 minutes of nonstop exchange of text messages, he texted me.. “I just want you to be safe, my demand is not for me but for you, it is for your safety, it is as simple as that”. The message left me quite wordless,  all the while I thought, he was just being cold and insensitive, what I failed to notice is that his way of caring is different from other people and that I need to respect it and believe that what he wants is what’s the best for me.

Sometimes, things don’t go the way how we dream it to be but most of the times, reality is better than any dreams, we just have to appreciate it.

TERMS of ENDEARMENT: Is it not “IN” anymore?

I have been seeing a lot of marriage proposals, actual marriage events both civil and church weddings and a lot of endearments as I open my facebook account.

Honestly, those are kind of freakin’ me out. Now, I am beginning to ask myself, am I getting old already or is it just the right time to do it so. Not that I am insecure nor worried about my future rather I haven’t felt that kind of excitement yet I guess. There were even times when I dreamt of walking down the aisle, teary eyed, and waiting to be touched and kissed by my crying fiancé as well. Oh well, of course, all are just my fancy imaginations, BUT what if imaginations become a reality, isn’t it great?!

Just to share my experience, our lovelife (Francis and me) is not as colorful and vibrant as how others project their relationships to be. Ours is quiet, silent, tact, low profile or how others perceive a “not so popular” relationship to be. Francis is 28 and I am 24, he’s not expressive as I am, at times he’d be quiet, he’s not as open like the other guys, communicating with him is a big big challenge for me.

He’s not of an outdoor type of person, every time I asks him out, he’d always say he wants to rest, sometimes he’d sleep all day. There are even times when all seems to be sweet with their girlfriends, and shows affection in public, he still remains to be flat affect and NR (No reaction). I wanted to confront him, (which sometimes I do), his mood will shift from flat to grumpy, he doesn’t want to be questioned of such things, very often he’d say, I want to show my love for you the way how I want it to.

Well of course, I am a girl and I always get offended when he blurts it out. It’s as if you always say you’ll do it your way but how about the way how I wanted to feel it. It’s as if I feel that I don’t have any control and that I felt embarrassed and neglected most of the times.

BUT THEN, inasmuch as I wanted things to be as smooth as possible I try to think things outright and positively. Diverting his acts to a more reasonable way that I could be able to understand is my way of brushing the negatives off of me and exchanging it to positive so as to maintain our relationship.

Both of us are busy, we both have our own operational definition of busy. He works 12hrs a day for 6 days. I work for at least 12hrs a day  for 5 days and is taking Master’s Degree every Saturday. Both seems to be fully booked most of the times, but still we’re lucky we still get to bond with each other, not perfect but at least a happy bonding.

We argue a lot of times, we have disputes, we have lots and lots of misunderstandings but still, we are able to get through it alive and glad that we’ve made it through. He’s not sweet but there are “golden” moments when he does it so. Then I get to realize, we are not perfect, people may not see us as a perfect couple but why the need to brag it of if in our own ways  we know that we are happy with our ways.

The common mistakes lovers do is try to match up with others and be like others not being able to see that what they have and what they are with each other is what really matters. Jealousy and competition are just the ideas that interrupts relationships leading to cool offs and heartbreaks.

Today’s realization, I guess is that, our partners may not be as  expressive as others to be but still they have their own ways of sharing it. We just have to internalize it and feel it down from our heart for us to warmly feel their love. Love is not a competition, it is a feeling, a commitment both shared by each parties. We just have to let it in, without pressure, without demands, without comparing others and without being envious with others.

Love yourself, love your partner, only then you will realize that the endearments you are looking for is just within you reach, maybe, you’re just pre occupied with others and projecting yourself to be another person because that is how you wanted things to be. Love, live and relax, just be yourself and things will be as smooth as how God planned it to be.

The 4th of November

Sunny and yet cloudy with isolated rains, weird weather isn’t it?

It may look weird as it may seem but I’d rather like and take it as it is than wish for more sun nor rains :).

Today marks our 66th monthsary.. and oooh yesss!, I’m so happy we’ve made this far! Relationship is not an easy commitment, well, not unless if you’re not serious,

Most people undergo ups and downs in relationships and we’re not exempted from it. The fact that relationships last is also the fact that time allows the couple to understand each other, make way for who should lead the way depending on the situation, to fight when things become tough and unmanageable, to love even if both of you are in pain, and to love each other with full commitment, compassion, without pressure and without demands.

Happily Ever After Cake

Just found this cake while I was buying for pasalubong in breadtalk, I was thinking that this would match my “happyleeeverafter” blog as the name implies ü.

 

Actually, I was supposed to buy J.co donuts but I was also surprised to see how long the lines were considering that the mall was about to close…, its just weird, so I ended up buying breads instead of Donuts.

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“Super Nina!”

Hello! My name is Nina Rinoa Cadag-Sampayo, I’m already 6 months old, 6 more months to go then I”ll be turning one.

This picture was taken after I had my shunt surgery because of my hydrocephalus.

Please pray for me, I know God is good, and He’ll never get tired of loving me, Please pray for me, as what most people says, more prayers = more miracle!

Thank you! 🙂